Black and white

insightful and well-written!

***

Monday: 

Jack slaps Jen.

Jen ends relationship.

“I can’t live this way,” she tells me.

Tuesday: 

Jack apologizes.

Jen forgives him.

“I really do love him,” she tells me.

Wednesday: 

Jack slaps Jen.

Jen ends relationship….

***

Black and white thinking is that habit of classifying things as either all one thing or all the other.

Kids learn it in dysfunctional families, where dangerous unpredictability prevails.

They learn to protect themselves by formulating rules to keep them out of trouble.  Since they’re kids, the rules tend towards oversimplification.  Never talk to dad when he’s drinking.  Always leave the room when mom and dad fight.   Never fail Math, because failure always earns you a beating.  Like that.

Thus on Monday and Wednesday Jen’s relationship seems all bad to her, and on Tuesday it seems all good.

For kids this sort of classification (it’s not really thinking) may actually be functional, since…

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